“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
Difficulties in relationships are often cited as the primary reasons people end up in therapy and its understandable. Managing family, friends, our professional careers, school and community relationships can become really hard for us if we do not use our discretion. Like in the times of the old western movies where posse’s of cowboys would work together towards a common good… this in a nutshell is what having a power posse is all about. Power posse’s are a life enhancing phenomenon, they are inspired, intimate friendships built around shared core beliefs and values. Friendships (even ones on social media) are meant to feel good to us, uplift and renew. I really encourage you to reflect upon your friendships as if your friendships aren’t doing this, they may need an overhaul.
Studies suggests that learning how to build quality friendships starts early. Research shows when children and adolescents have valued, positive friendships this can have a beneficial impact on their emotional adjustment. Numerous scientific health journals reveal that quality relationships are a very protective factor against things like social anxiety and depressive symptoms. There is also a beautiful feeling that takes over when you are around people who truly appreciate and nurture your unique talents, as you often want to bring out the best in them too. These certainly aren’t people that are highly critical, negative and constantly draining you. We all know it’s rare to have the same ‘best friend’ forever, as we are constantly learning and growing in our lives. Our friendships and social connections are always evolving based on what we grow to value most.
For those of us in the caring professions, where we are exposed to people who are traumatised, ill or with special needs it’s essential to use your private time well. Mindfully choose to surround yourself with uplifting and enriching relationships to create balance in your life. Light up this world starting with yourself – you are definitely worth it!
My top tip on friendship modelling to benefit you and your kids;
- Beware of Frenemies! As a parent it can be really difficult when we think our kids friends aren’t that great, especially when they have ‘frenemies’. These are people or even Facebook ‘friends’ in which they keep close contact but who are really their enemies. Peers are very important for kids and if parents aren’t sensitive to that, handling this could be disastrous. It’s important to keep a calm, open dialogue about the role of friends. Having frenemies ourselves can also be really detrimental to our health in addition to it modelling mixed messages for kids on friendships.
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